Getting directions in Pittsburgh

Never ask for directions from a native. People here don't give street names. They give directions in terms of local landmarks which you may or may not know of, may or may not be duplicated throughout the city, and may or may not even exist. Here's some examples of what to expect:

"Take the Liberty Tubes"

No, the tubes are not a subway. It's a tunnel. Translation: "Leave the city via the Liberty Tunnel"

"Go four stoplights and turn left."

Go 3-5 stoplights. Remember that a stop sign may or may not count as a stoplight. Also, your left might be on a one way street going the wrong way, so plan accordingly.

"take the narrow street down the hill."

This was actually 6 narrow streets down the hill. Don't worry when you think you're lost because you keep ending up on dead ends. Orient your car in a downward fashion and drive, always turning so you keep moving down. There's a main street running parallel to the bottom of the hill.

"Make a right at the Sunoco"

Pittsburghers like to orient themselves according to the nearest Sunoco, a gas station. There's one in every neighborhood, so if you're more than 4 blocks lost, you're going to be really confused.

"Turn between the Sunoco and the Karate place/Take the soft right/Take the straight-right"

Actually, this makes sense when you see some of the 5 way intersections.

"Get on Parkway East"

The trick here is to orient yourself from downtown. The Parkway is actually 2 highways. 279 runs N-S through downtown. 376 runs East from downtown. The 376 part is known as Parkway East. The 279 parts are either Parkway North or Parkway West (the southern part actually runs pretty westerly, hence the name). The trick here is that to get to your destination, you might not actually go east on Parkway East if you are already in the Eastern boroughs of Pittsburgh. So, the above direction might actually mean "Go West on 376". Of course, the person giving you the directions somehow assumes you magically know which way to go to the place where you're asking for directions.

"Take the Blue Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/Beechwood Ave"

Go get a map and have a second person in the car. You're going to need someone to watch for all the signs telling you when to turn. The belts are NOT main streets, and they will switch quickly from one street to the next. Beechwood is even worse than a belt since there aren't any signs telling you that you need to turn to stay on your street.

"Make a left at the top of the hill."

Another fun one. Pittsburgh is covered with hills and ravines. I never know what hill we're talking about. I lived in the neighborhood of Squirrel Hill for 2 years, and I still don't know which hill is Squirrel Hill.

"Turn right where the ol' bus station usdabe." (Usually said within 5 minutes of me saying "I'm new to the city...")

...see, this is how I get lost. Looking for large buildings that might have usdabe a bus station.